This Post talks about Happy Father’s Day In Heaven
If you have stumbled on my blog post because you lost your father…. I want you to know that this post is dedicated to everyone who has lost a father. This post was written with love for you.❤️
I hope that you find some solace knowing that you are not alone…
Losing my father…
My father passed away in June 2020. His death was heart-wrenching because he meant the world to me. I still remember that phone call that I received in the middle of the night from my sister. Sometimes I wish I didn’t pick up immediately so that I could pretend that he was still alive for a little bit. Sigh.
See, I was a daddy’s girl, and my father was the best daddy ever. He was larger than life, and I feel as if his presence couldn’t be contained or confined to a room. He was full of life, and people were left with an imprint of his charisma every time they interacted with him. So when I received that phone call that he had passed away, I wondered how a person who was full of life was no more. How could it be?
Dealing with Grief
Grief is a strange thing. It doesn’t just go away after a few weeks or months. You might have good days and bad days, but the pain of losing someone you love is always there, lurking in the background. Father’s Day brings all those feelings to the surface again.
People say time heals, for me, I process time (or see time) in a strange way. I see as if it is more distance away from my father. It’s as if he has gone on a prolonged journey. It is more of the cemented feeling of knowing another year has passed by without my loving father… and that he isn’t coming back. And it hurts to think of this.
So, does time heal? For some it does…. but for me, it didn’t. Healing for me came through processing the grief and coming to terms (acceptance) with the loss… through faith, counseling, and professional coping strategies.
So on this Father’s Day, in the midst of grief that may be resurfacing or amid the rollercoaster of the stages of grief, I want to honor my dad’s memory by sharing some happy memories of him. I hope they will bring warmth to your heart and perhaps a smile to your face, even if you’re grieving the loss of a father yourself.
Memories about my dad (the tribute I gave to my dad)
Last year was the second Father’s Day without my dad, and it was really hard. He passed away in June 2020, but I totally blanked out when it came to the first Father’s Day without him in 2020. So last year, in 2021, I technically considered it the first Father’s Day without my dad because I was able to process his absence.
In the past, I used to see people share on social media tributes for parents they lost- be it on Mother’s Day or Father’s Day. That was always so foreign to me. I couldn’t identify with what they were going through. I always thought, “That’s sad,” and I sent hearts and condolences, but I could not understand the depth or the pain behind that post… I couldn’t understand the void or vacuum in someone’s soul and spirit after losing a parent. 💔
So in 2021, I dreaded father’s day. I glanced at the calendar, knowing that those streams of “Dad, I love you. You are the best” messages would come flooding in on my timeline. These were from people who would express the love of their earthly fathers, still present to embrace them.
I contemplated taking a sabbatical from social media to avoid this barrage of messages from people who were fortunate enough to have their earthly fathers. However, I decided that I wouldn’t run. I would face it head-on. So two weeks before father’s day, I started to craft my dedication post. I knew it was going to be difficult. I would probably need two boxes of Kleenex, but that was totally fine!
So Father’s Day 2021 rolled in. I have friends and family in Kenya, which is 8 hours ahead. So I started to see all these early posts on my Facebook timeline… people were celebrating with their dads. Okay, so it has begun….
I took the memory post I had sitting in my drafts, and I pushed send.
Here is my tribute:
I can say that I now don’t take those tribute posts for granted. When I scroll on Facebook and see that occasional tribute post from someone. I pause. People don’t see this or feel this, but I do! I now understand.
Memories at the beach
When I was young, my father took us on three consecutive trips to the coast of Kenya. One to Mombasa, then Kilifi and lastly Malindi. That was the Christmas of 1993,1994, and 1995. Those memories are pleasantly etched in my earliest and fondest memories. Random fact…I remember staying in Eden Rock Hotel in Malindi for one month. Yes, I still remember the name of the hotel. I hope to go there one day with my own family.
So it’s no surprise that the beach has become synonymous with my dad. It takes me to my happy place. The sound of waves crashing against the shoreline is enough to send me into a happy daze. It always reminds me of my dad and all the amazing times we had together at the beach. I can still see his smile and hear his laugh as if he’s right here with me.
So this past year, when the pandemic restrictions began to ease, we traveled to the Outer Banks, NC with my family. It felt almost spiritual. It’s as if I could feel my dad right there beside me.
I hope you have that special place that reminds your dad or loved one that you care for so much.
Imagining my father in heaven
My father had a dream two weeks before his death. The dream was that he was walking in a field with his father, who had passed on seven years prior. I documented this in my blog post titled: Till We Meet Again (Farewell Baba)
I believe that was a sign that he would go to heaven. I like to think that he’s happy and at peace. I imagine him reunited with his loved ones who have passed before him, and I know that he’s finally pain-free after suffering from so many health problems in the last few years.
I know that my dad is happy in heaven, but that doesn’t make the pain of losing him any less. I often find myself wondering what he’s doing up there. I also wonder- what does he or doesn’t he know about the current me. Does he know how much I miss him? Does he know that I’m finally pursuing my purpose? Does he know I am now an author?
I feel that he is missing all the nice bits of my life. I wish he was here to witness all my milestones. However, I take comfort in knowing that we will be reunited one day and that I’ll get to see him again. In the meantime, I’ll keep living my life in a way that would make him proud.
Heaven, according to Bible
Here are some facts about heaven and eternal life that will bring you comfort and hope.
- Heaven is a real place. It’s not just a figment of our imagination or something we made up. Scripture tells us that heaven is an actual place where God dwells (Deuteronomy 26:15, Isaiah 66:22, John 14:12)
- We will have bodies in heaven. When Jesus Christ returns, He will give us new bodies that are free from sin, and death (Philippians 3:21)
- Heaven is a place of joy. There will be no more sorrow, pain, or tears in heaven. God will wipe every tear from our eyes (Revelation 21:4).
- Heaven is a prepared place for a prepared people. There are many mansions in heaven (John 14:2)
- We will be with God in heaven.
- Heaven is a place of complete rest.
- Heaven is a place of great reunion…In heaven, we will meet again with loved ones who have died in Christ
- But we know that it’s going to be far better than anything we can imagine.
- Heaven is our ultimate home. This world is not our home; we are just passing through. (John 17:16)
- Heaven is where we will live forever with God.
- Our citizenship is in heaven (Philippians 3:20)
I hope these facts about heaven bring you comfort and hope. If you have a loved one in heaven, know that they are happy and at peace. And if you are grieving the loss of a loved one, know that they are in a better place and that you will see them again someday.
7 Tips on how to navigate Father’s Day in heaven
Per what I shared earlier, last year was really hard. I dreaded the happy Father’s Day posts and pictures because my dad wasn’t here physically. I didn’t know how to cope with the loss and felt like I was just going through the motions.
But since my experience last year, I’ve learned a few things that have helped me get through Father’s Day.
Here are seven tips on how to navigate Father’s Day after the loss of your dad:
1. Acknowledge your feelings
It’s okay to feel sad, angry, or happy on Father’s Day. You might even feel all of these emotions at once. Allow yourself to feel whatever you’re feeling and know that it’s normal to miss your dad on this day.
2. Talk about your dad
Don’t be afraid to talk about your dad with family and friends. It can be healing to share happy memories or stories about him.
3. Do something to honor your dad
There are many ways to honor your dad on Father’s Day. You could visit his grave, make a donation in his name, or do something that he loved to do.
4. Create new traditions
If you’re struggling with traditional Father’s Day activities, try creating new traditions. This could be something as simple as having a picnic in the park or taking a trip to the beach.
5. Spend time with loved ones
Father’s Day can be difficult, but spending time with loved ones can help. Whether you’re with your mom, siblings, grandparents, or friends, take comfort in knowing that you’re not alone on this day.
6. Take care of yourself
be sure to take care of yourself both physically and emotionally on Father’s Day. This might include getting some exercise, eating a healthy meal, or taking some time for yourself.
7. Reach out for help
If you’re struggling to get through Father’s Day, reach out for help from a therapist, support group, or hotline. There are people who understand what you’re going through and can offer guidance and support.
No matter how you choose to spend Father’s Day, know that you’re not alone in your grief. Lean on your loved ones for support and take care of yourself both physically and emotionally. Most importantly, don’t be afraid to talk about your dad. Sharing happy memories and stories about him can be healing for both you and your loved ones.
I hope these tips are helpful for anyone struggling with Father’s Day after the loss of their dad.
Happy Father’s Day to All Dads in Heaven!
As I close, I want to say Happy Father’s Day to all the dads out there- both on earth and in heaven. This Father’s Day, I encourage you to celebrate your dad- even if he is no longer with us. Remember the happy memories and the lessons he taught you.
If you’ve lost a parent, grandparent, or someone close to you, I pray that you find comfort in knowing that they are in heaven with Jesus. And that one day, you will be reunited. Until then, cherish your memories and know that they are always with you in spirit.