Recover All

This time last year, I wrote down a prayer request in my journal—something deeply personal and important. I printed out scripture, stood on God’s promises, and went to war in prayer for what He placed in my heart. Over the past year, I saw signs of progress. Doors began to open. Hope started rising. So when I walked into my reconsideration meeting yesterday, I was optimistic. I thought, Surely God is about to fulfill what He started. I’ve done the work, I’ve prayed, I’ve fasted, I’ve believed.

But when I sat in that room and heard the words, “Not right now,” it felt like everything stopped. I walked out stunned. And when I got home, I sat in my prayer corner and cried. I asked God the question that so many of us ask in moments like that: Why? So the progress I witnessed was not enough? How come my efforts weren’t good enough?

Last year, my word was “redeeming the time.” And God really did redeem time for me—so much so that I could literally see the difference. I had the evidence, the progress, the “before and after” that proved He had been moving. It was night and day. So when things didn’t go the way I expected, I couldn’t help but wonder… What happened? Did I miss something? As I sat there, tears still falling, I heard God speak one phrase so clearly: “RECOVER ALL.”

Then the unimaginable happened… as soon as God gave me the word “recover all,” the enemy immediately attacked that promise. When I say ‘attack,’ I mean within 2 hours; the enemy was already scheming. Friends, the enemy doesn’t play fair, and he doesn’t waste a chance to kick you when you are down!

As the enemy came for that word, I felt myself growing weary. I told God, “I don’t know how much more strength I have to keep fighting for something that feels constantly delayed.” And in that moment of honesty, God didn’t rebuke me. He didn’t tell me to toughen up. He reminded me that recovery is not done in my strength—it’s done in His.

I sat there, letting that truth settle. Because sometimes we think spiritual warfare is all about our stamina, our consistency, our faithfulness. But God gently whispered that while I partnered with Him, the weight of the battle never once rested on my shoulders. It was always His fight. It was always His promise. It was always His timeline.

So I sat in my prayer corner, still tired, still emotional, but with a new understanding:
This isn’t a setback—this is a summons.

A call to rise again.
A call to trust again.
A call to pursue again, knowing that heaven is backing every step I take.

And even though the enemy came quickly to attack the word, the speed of the attack only confirmed the weight of the promise. It showed me that what is ahead is so significant that hell is terrified of me reaching it.

I wish I could tell you that I’m now optimistic and it’s “all cylinders fired” about what’s ahead. The truth is… I’m still trying to muster up the courage to start the process again. I know some may say that it is a defeatist approach, but that’s where I am. I’m being honest.

I called my accountability partner and I said with frustration, “People see the final product- the answered prayer in a big red bow. They never see the behind-the-scenes or the messy part. They don’t see the sweat, the tears, or the knees bruised from praying. They don’t see the arms that are tired from surrendering over and over again.”

Friends, I want to reiterate that I’m still hurt. However, I thank God that He is still writing the story. It’s not over. And when the time is right, I will look back and say, “This is why He told me to pursue. This is why He told me to hold on. This is why He told me to recover all.”

P.S. Remember this: you were never called to bargain or negotiate with the enemy. If he stole something from you, you are not meant to settle for scraps or accept a small portion back. You are meant to RECOVER ALL—every promise, every blessing, every piece of what God said is yours.

Hugs,